Sometimes we seek the companionship we know can destroy us.

I carefully avoided the cliche “love we think we deserve” for a reason here. Yes, many of us find ourselves spending time with people that we know are bad for us, in more ways than one. But do we deserve it?

Now, obviously as the header of my blog implies, I’m a bit narcissistic so perhaps my view on this subject is a bit warped…However, I don’t think a lot of us wind up with people who hurt of because we think we deserve it. In fact, I feel like a lot know we deserve a hell of a lot better (or worse). We instead, choose, to put ourselves in positions that we know hurt us.

But why? Do we all have some sick and twisted masochistic streak in us that causes us to desire the things we know we shouldn’t have? Or, are we simply looking at it from a more open minded view? Perhaps some of is realize that you can not always take the easy way out and that sometimes it is better to fight a good fight and lose than to not fight at all.

For example, have you ever met someone who you seem to get along with great at first but soon realize that you can not stand that person or that the person is going to be the death of you? If you have been in this position before than you know that your brain starts to spazz out and you have to decide if you want to stay or go. Many of us choose to stay. I think that this choice was a lot about who you are as a person. Often times we stay because we know that we won’t get closure unless we can conquer these fears or challenges. Sometimes we rationalize our decisions by saying that these people aren’t actually that bad for us or that it’s alright to continue to deal with these people even when thy are going to lead us to ruin.

I would know. I have somewhat recently encountered such a person. We hit it off great and he became my best friend but something in my gut told me that he was going to be the end of me but didn’t run because I sat down and tried to rationalize our relationship and before I knew it he was ruining me completely. Everything that I was.

However, he wound up being the best thing that happened to me because he was the worst thing that happened to me. He made me stronger. And he taught me a lesson, no one will ever make me back down from what I want. Was the heartbreak and betrayal needed? No. However, I learned that sometimes, people can not make you happy, no matter how bad you want them to and I learned extremely valuable lessons in forgiveness and doing the right thing. I could have fled, but months later, I realize that I am stronger for sticking it out and dealing with the myriad of emotions that he caused me.

So sometimes, it can be okay to see the end of a situation with someone that we think might end badly, because in reality, we have so much to learn from these people and we can grow so much when dealing with them.

-E.Complex